Love Rocks This Mother's Day

This worldwide experience is unique to most of our lifetimes.

For some it is “strange times’, and for some it is a “crisis”. We are all on our own journeys, and as Mother’s Day approaches, I became curious about how my children see this unique time in history.

These “children” are 24 and 20 years old, and there are 5 of us all together in our home. My husband and I, our son and his girlfriend, and our daughter….and then there’s Henry, the Beaglier, who joined the family just before Christmas. His job is to keep things interesting.

Our worries and stresses during this time are mundane and mostly minor.

But I wanted to know, from my grown kids' perspective….What are they learning? And how did their childhood experiences prepare them (or not) for this situation?

One thing they are gaining, is an enhanced sense of community. We live in a small, close-knit community already – but we are seeing even more remarkable connections. We are all pulling together to support our beloved local businesses. We get to see the character, ingenuity and struggles of the people running these companies……and we see how hard they are trying to take good care of their employees, the community, and all of us. They will never again see any of these businesses as “faceless”.

The younger children in Deep Cove have started decorating and leaving beautiful “Love Rocks” all over the Cove. When I see them, it reminds me of how much our children care about this community, and that these symbolic gestures of love will be here for a very long time. I expect very few of them will be removed, and they will continue to make everyone feel welcome, whether they are local or not. (Maybe they’ll even reduce littering?)

I am heartened by the positive attitude both my children have, and their gratitude that they are “stuck” and home with a family they both love and like – knowing that others have chosen loneliness over going home to isolate with family.

This is such a unique opportunity to see how we are all connected…..and to explore what real connection means.

How that translates into their lives is that they really see the value of seeing someone face-to-face, and they are nurturing their online relationships much more purposefully.

A light has been shone on the incredible power of a hug. I have always been a hugger, and now I get even more of them…….but I still have to beg for someone to play cards with me.

I did find one great way to bond with my young adults, but for this idea prior to this crisis, I would have received a cursory, “Yeah, sure Mum, sounds like fun”.

We started thinking of movies that are amazing, but because they came out in the 80’s, 90’s or early 2000’s, our kids never saw them. So far we have watched “Good Morning Vietnam”, “Apocalypse Now”, “Rain Man”, “Indiana Jones & the Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and “Tootsie”. (I’m secretly hoping we’ve started a new tradition).

It has also been fascinating to see how social media posts changed so dramatically……the ubiquitous Selfie has become almost extinct….overnight! It has been dealt a one-two-three punch – 1. No more grooming services (and/or a lack of cash to buy them with), 2. No new, cool places to travel to or parties, and 3. No one really cares to see a Selfie right now. It’s been outed as something that doesn’t really serve either our relationships or our self-esteem well, and I’d be quite happy if it didn’t survive the pandemic. We’ll see.

My kids have done enough travelling, volunteering and humanitarian trips to get a glimpse of other lives that are very different from their own. That glimpse has been just enough to boost their compassion and empathy, and to make them think about and talk about how others are struggling.

They are seeing their privilege, and it is inspiring them to use this time well.

I asked David about his perspective on this time, and he said,

Well, just a few weeks ago, I was running around like crazy, from work to school, and trying to exercise and cook meals in between. Now all of a sudden, everything has just stopped, and we have so much space…..When in my lifetime will I get another chance to pause like this….when I don’t have school stress, work stress, or financial stress, and I can just BE?

We agreed that next time might be 40 – 50 years from now…..when (or if), he retires.

I am not in the pause position right now – but I am so lucky – to have meaningful work to do, and to have love infused in my work and in my life.

This time has been brutal for some, but my guess is that despite how hard or easy it is for each of us, we will carry some important lessons forward, and that almost everyone can find something positive to cherish and take with them into this strange new future.

This crisis is reminding me of how motherhood never ends, it just changes. It is the rock that our children build their lives on.

And when I see the Love Rocks in the Cove, I couldn't agree more....Love ROCKS.

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