Elevator Challenge

"As an experiment, use your next elevator ride (or two, or three) as a chance to start a conversation. If it helps, you can even say you have been asked to do it as part of an experiment. Report back below on how the conversational invasion was enjoyed. Did it make others happier? And how did you feel afterwards?  Invite others to do the same experiment themselves".

- John Helliwell

 

Some responses:

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"I do this all the time. My daughter once told me that I can start a conversation with a coffee cup!"
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"Occupying an elevator with an old man, I was complaining about the bad weather because that was a very rainy and cold day. Not amused at all, annoyed, with a rude voice, the old man told me that rain is essential and that I should stop complaining. Since that day I have never grumbled about the weather."
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"I got on the bus this morning and finished up the puzzle on my Sudoku app. I was about to start a new book, but remembered the challenge and thought, why not now? I said to the lady sitting next to me, “I’ve been challenged to start a conversation on the bus.” It was great. I got to tell her about the Dalai Lama Center, about John Helliwell’s talk and the challenge and some of his research, such as the salary value of a trusting workplace.

We talked about the need for belonging and social connection, and I got to hear about how deeply she learned to appreciate that need after the loss of a loved one a few years ago. We agreed on the value of supporting culture change in the direction of social cohesion, and the value of small acts like bus conversations toward that end. When she got off she thanked me for the conversation and said it had made her day. I felt pretty good, too. On the way home some other people sat down next to me, but I stuck to my book. I didn’t want to press my luck."
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"I usually appreciate and smile at the kids, asking the parent about them, works great."
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"On the elevator to the parking lot afterwards, everyone was talking so enthusiastically that I had to ask them to be quiet so as I could do my experiment....there was mutual laughter, which I think is a good thing to do in a confined space as the energy bounces back from the walls."
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"It does require starting the conversation as soon as you get in the elevator, otherwise it gets harder as time passes. Even if you can't think of anything to say, at least say 'have a good day' as they leave."
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"I ride an elevator in a building where unemployed people go to find work - it's only three stories tall but I feel great if I can inject a little humor or sympathize about crappy weather or comment on the beautiful baby in the stroller. We all seem t get off the elevator a little lighter. People I've seen before seem to feel good about being remembered and want to tell me all about their progress since our last elevator meeting. I love those meetings...they make my day"
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"I got on the elevator at work and was about to initiate a conversation with the only other occupant, an older man. Before I could speak, he looked at all the bags I was carrying and said to me in limited English, "You need little cart", motioning with his hands at the same time to further describe what he meant. "That is exactly what I need" I said to him. We both laughed, enjoying our connection and our ability to communicate in spite of language issues."
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"It's nice to read about your experiment! I myself use to start a conversation with the people around me quite often. It's important not to give the others the impression that you're doing it out of feelings of boring or lonelyness, but the impression that that you recognize and respect him/her and that you're welcoming him/her in your life just now on the spot. "
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"I am a regular elevator engager and find this social interaction mutually rewarding. Thanks for an excellent presentation on Tuesday evening--another positive, shared experience for all. Very interesting to go beyond the anecdotal to have scientific experiments to better analyze and understand happiness."

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