Gets Along with Others

What is the quality “Gets Along with Others”? 
 
When children and youth get along with others they demonstrate the ability to form positive and healthy relationships with peers and adults.  As they interact and play with others, children learn the skills (such as managing their emotions) needed to develop and maintain successful relationships. This journey starts in infancy with the first critical relationship - the relationship between the caregiver(s) and the infant and then continues with adults supporting increasingly complex social interactions in various environments.
 
What does getting along with others look like? 
 
A child or youth who gets along with others plays and works cooperatively with a variety of children; demonstrates respect for other children, adults and property; is able to express their feelings and communicate their needs to adults and other children; invites bystanders to join in play; and accepts responsibility for their actions. In addition, they are usually able to regulate their own emotions and behaviour by demonstrating self-control, working independently, and listening attentively. 
 
Foundationally, the groundwork for healthy peer relationships is a strong attachment with a parent or caregiver throughout childhood and adolescence. With peer relationships, there are powerful social hierarchy influences (status and popularity), as children get older. Yet there is no “best” social style.  A child or youth may be an outgoing person with a wide circle of friends or may be quieter and prefer a smaller group of peers; both styles are healthy with strong skills to  “get along with others.”  
 
What does it look like when that quality is diminished?
 
Children may have difficulty getting along with others because they have not developed positive “relational skills”.  They may get into fights frequently when playing with peers, become aggressive during play, have few friends or peers who want to play with them, and refuse to cooperate when the teacher or parent gives instructions. Children who have difficulty making and keeping friends experience more loneliness, depression and struggle with engaging in school. They may show little respect for others and be unable to communicate their needs. 
 
Why is it helpful/useful to have this quality? 
 
Having friendships and positive social experiences allow children to practice a range of skills, and develop social behaviours, emotional awareness and an understanding of our inter-connectedness. Child - Adult relationships, from infancy to adolescence, literally shape the development of the brain and cultivate(s) complex social skills over time. These important relationships can occur with caring adults including parents, caregivers, extended family, family friends, teachers, and coaches. Children with the ability to get along with others tend to do better in school, feel better about themselves, and are happier throughout life.
 
Here is  just a short list of the things you can do with children and youth:
 
 
 
This strategy helps with students who are having relational difficulties and harness the power of being a strong role model to “get along with others.”
 
 
Dig into some great books with positive social messages.
 
READ ALOUDS
 
CHAPTER BOOKS

 
Facilitate a lesson in which all students create friendship advertisements.
 
In partners, have students create a poster that will market their partner's friendship. The objective is for the class to visually identify what friendship qualities their classmates possess.
 

 A trustworthy person is someone who _____________.
 
In the following middle school lesson plan, students identify qualities in others that help make them trustworthy, a key element in relationship building.
 

Create a classroom graffiti wall.
 
This wall should portray anything positive regarding relationships and friendships. Students can post quotes regarding friendships, photographs of classmates, drawings or even their own short stories. This activity could be an ongoing project for the entire school year, and the wall will be a constant reminder of the importance of positive relationships.
 

Promote kindness.
 
Research shows us that acts of kindness creates positive social consequences, and contributes to people appreciating us, offering gratitude and reciprocating in times of need.
 
Here are 3 classroom activities and 5 helpful tips to promote kindness and happiness in children. 
 

Look for and acknowledge positive social behaviour.
 
Tell a child or teen what he or she did well with words, a smile, a thumbs-up or a pat on the back. Be both descriptive and convey some enthusiasm (check your body language!). Even if the behaviour could improve, describe the effort as well as the success. Adapt the “fill your bucket” concept in your school.